Why Worry?

You cannot consistently perform in a manner which is inconsistent with the way you see yourself.

Zig Ziglar
 

"If you want something you've never had,

you must do something you've never done."

Do you ever have nights where you can't sleep and you just want to stay up and listen to music and ponder on your life? I think these moments for me are the times where I feel like I am finally still enough to really let God feed into my heart. It's times like these that I can sit back and let my feelings surface and let God show me His perspective on life... It's amazing how refreshed I feel after spending time alone reflecting on my life and my purpose. I guess it's a time where I look at what I'm doing that I like, and I believe is pleasing to the Lord, and then I also look at what I can do to change things that I do not like, or how I can challenge myself in new ways so that I can continually grow as an individual.

One of my biggest struggles this year has been learning how to have self-confidence. I tend to fall on the "not so confident" side of things. This is mostly a struggle for me at my job. I don't think I struggle as much with having confidence, but instead, I struggle with being confident. If that makes sense? In other words, I don't know how to show my confidence.I think this is because I have grown up being taught to be humble, and I always remember the verse Proverbs 27:2 ("Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; someone else, and not your own lips"). I also am starting to see that part of the perfectionist in me stems from my lack of confidence - always feeling like I need to do better or nothing is ever good enough.

Something I am trying to consistently remind myself of is that my worth is not through my accomplishments. Also, I am not defined by what people say of me. People may hurt me or say hurtful things to me, but I am who I am because of who Christ is in me. With that being said, I think we are all called to be aware of how we are perceived by others and make the appropriate changes so that our actions reflect the desires of our hearts. There's a fine line between being cautious of what others think so that you represent Christ adequately, but at the same time, not letting others define you or prevent you from success because they put you down. I think this is where the challenge begins. Learning to find that place of equilibrium. I have come to believe that this is the true challenge in life - finding balance in all that we do.

A coworker once told me when he was worried about how his boss would react to his performance on a certain project, "...Even if I failed, no one at my job can take away the things that matter most to me. Even if I were to get fired [which is highly unlikely], I will still have my wife, my daughter, my home, my parents... No one can take those things away from me". I will never forget this conversation, because I remember it whenever I feel like I am falling short or not doing well enough. Sometimes we just need to step back and put things into perspective. Something that might seem so trivial at the time could be so minimal but if we aren't careful we can replace our joy with unnecessary worry and anxiety. No matter what happens at work or in your personal life, no one can take away your relationship with God. That alone is something to celebrate.

Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes. Matthew 6:34 (MSG)

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord. Psalms 19:14