Shattered Wholeness
Pondering the thought that brokenness and wholeness are sort of one in the same. Sometimes it's through our brokenness we are truly made whole. We must break down to build up. You know the saying, "if it aint broke, don't fix it".. I think we have to experience our own brokenness before we are able to allow God to do His Mighty work in us and mend us back together. This idea alone makes me stop and sit in awe of God's goodness and grace. What a crazy neat God to allow us to actually grow in our weakest moments. Makes me ever thankful for the ability to experience life. To wake up everyday and have the freedom to make decisions, whether good or bad, and to experience emotions along with those decisions. To hurt, to love, to fail, to have passion... all of these things I'm so thankful for because each of them have allowed me to understand God's love in a deeper way. I am starting to learn to live life fearlessly, because God does awesome things through us, even when we aren't able to understand the bigger picture.
As many of you know, I was a Resident Assistant (RA) in one of the residence halls at K-State during my time as an undergrad student. Through this job, I was blessed with the opportunity to build great relationships with many wonderful girls that lived on my floor. I served as an RA for 3 years, and each year, I would hear stories of females who felt so broken, so wounded, and so lost. I would hear the same fears, the same concerns, and the same heartaches consistently. I remember talking with two of my dearest residents at the time about regrets they had relating to mistakes they'd made in the past. I remember my heart aching for them, because I knew that they felt worthless and invaluable because of their failures. I think this happens so often! I even sometimes find myself struggling because I will evaluate my self-worth based on my own (sometimes poor) decisions. How crazy? As Christians, we must consistently remember that our value is not self-based, but our value is in the Lord and in the fact that He lives in us and He is worthy. We have to realize that if we were never broken, we'd never need grace.
I volunteered at City Union Mission twice within the last two weeks, and this last Friday I was allowed to work alongside those participating in CUM's rehabilitation programs to guide them to healthier lifestyles. As I worked with different people throughout the day, I learned a lot about their backgrounds, what they've been through, and how God has changed their lives. I was really amazed by God after hearing some of their stories. A recurring theme I saw was that during the most broken times of each of their lives, God intervened. One man talked about how it took him 13 years in prison, and the death of his brother, mother, and father to finally realize that he needed something different in his life. He said that even when he was able to see that he needed to change, he had a hard time believing anyone could love him through his mistakes. He didn't even love himself. Thankfully, God placed the right people and the right guidance in his life to help him take the right steps towards living a more fulfilling lifestyle. He is now doing well, enjoying life, and praising God along the way.
What makes me sad to hear is that sometimes we feel undeserving to even present our problems to God, because we feel that we are too far gone - that God wouldn't want someone like us. Someone so lost and so broken. I remember my college mentor once told me, "I believe that God loves when we come to him with big gaps ["problems"] in our lives because He wants to fill those gaps. In essence, the bigger the hole in our hearts, the more God gets to fill." In other words, God is so great and so amazing that He can take the messiest situations and biggest problems and still use them to glorify Him (Romans 8:28). Thankfully, God is so much bigger than our biggest problem.
“One morning I was reading the story of Jesus’ feeding the five thousand. The disciples could find only five loaves of bread and two fishes. “Let me have them,” said Jesus. He asked for all. He took them, said the blessing, and broke them before He gave them out. I remembered what a chapel speaker, Ruth Stull of Peru, had said: “If my life is broken when given to Jesus, it is because pieces will feed a multitude, while a loaf will satisfy only a little lad.” (Elizabeth Elliot, Passion and Purity)
May we remember to always rejoice in our trials. To be real about our weaknesses and to allow God to transform us to be more and more like Him as we grow through our life experiences. Let us not forget the greatness of our God and His awesome love towards His children. I am always thankful for His new mercies every day!
As many of you know, I was a Resident Assistant (RA) in one of the residence halls at K-State during my time as an undergrad student. Through this job, I was blessed with the opportunity to build great relationships with many wonderful girls that lived on my floor. I served as an RA for 3 years, and each year, I would hear stories of females who felt so broken, so wounded, and so lost. I would hear the same fears, the same concerns, and the same heartaches consistently. I remember talking with two of my dearest residents at the time about regrets they had relating to mistakes they'd made in the past. I remember my heart aching for them, because I knew that they felt worthless and invaluable because of their failures. I think this happens so often! I even sometimes find myself struggling because I will evaluate my self-worth based on my own (sometimes poor) decisions. How crazy? As Christians, we must consistently remember that our value is not self-based, but our value is in the Lord and in the fact that He lives in us and He is worthy. We have to realize that if we were never broken, we'd never need grace.
I volunteered at City Union Mission twice within the last two weeks, and this last Friday I was allowed to work alongside those participating in CUM's rehabilitation programs to guide them to healthier lifestyles. As I worked with different people throughout the day, I learned a lot about their backgrounds, what they've been through, and how God has changed their lives. I was really amazed by God after hearing some of their stories. A recurring theme I saw was that during the most broken times of each of their lives, God intervened. One man talked about how it took him 13 years in prison, and the death of his brother, mother, and father to finally realize that he needed something different in his life. He said that even when he was able to see that he needed to change, he had a hard time believing anyone could love him through his mistakes. He didn't even love himself. Thankfully, God placed the right people and the right guidance in his life to help him take the right steps towards living a more fulfilling lifestyle. He is now doing well, enjoying life, and praising God along the way.
What makes me sad to hear is that sometimes we feel undeserving to even present our problems to God, because we feel that we are too far gone - that God wouldn't want someone like us. Someone so lost and so broken. I remember my college mentor once told me, "I believe that God loves when we come to him with big gaps ["problems"] in our lives because He wants to fill those gaps. In essence, the bigger the hole in our hearts, the more God gets to fill." In other words, God is so great and so amazing that He can take the messiest situations and biggest problems and still use them to glorify Him (Romans 8:28). Thankfully, God is so much bigger than our biggest problem.
“One morning I was reading the story of Jesus’ feeding the five thousand. The disciples could find only five loaves of bread and two fishes. “Let me have them,” said Jesus. He asked for all. He took them, said the blessing, and broke them before He gave them out. I remembered what a chapel speaker, Ruth Stull of Peru, had said: “If my life is broken when given to Jesus, it is because pieces will feed a multitude, while a loaf will satisfy only a little lad.” (Elizabeth Elliot, Passion and Purity)
May we remember to always rejoice in our trials. To be real about our weaknesses and to allow God to transform us to be more and more like Him as we grow through our life experiences. Let us not forget the greatness of our God and His awesome love towards His children. I am always thankful for His new mercies every day!
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